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Blurred Makeup Is the Most Flattering Trend of the Season—Here’s How to Do It Right

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After years of chiseled contour, overlined lips and precision-sharp everything, beauty is finally softening, and blurred makeup is shaping up to be the defining trend of summer.

“Everything right now is about looking a little airbrushed in real life,” says celebrity makeup artist Jamie Greenberg. “Think watercolor blush, blurred lips, hazy liner, skin that still looks like skin and super light no-makeup makeup.” The aesthetic is romantic, impressionistic and—perhaps most importantly—universally flattering.

The formula for getting there is simpler than you’d think. Greenberg’s directive: swap anything “super dry, opaque or aggressively matte” for formulas that melt into skin—cream blushes, soft matte lip tints, tinted moisturizers. Work in thin layers, she says, and blend more than feels necessary. “The secret,” she says, “is less perfection.”

Below are the products making the blurred makeup trend effortless.

1 / 9

A true do-it-all for the blur era, this sleek stylus delivers a translucent wash of color to lips and cheeks that reads more like a natural flush than actual makeup. The creamy formula melts on contact, layering beautifully for a finish that’s sheer, luminous and easy.

2 / 9

Packed with hydrating ingredients such as hyaluronic acid and white camellia, this skin-care-infused concealer melts right into skin instead of sitting on top, creating an undetectable, airbrushed finish.

Chanel Les Beiges Healthy Glow Serum Concealer

3 / 9

Forget blotting—all six nude-pink lipstick shades are pre-blurred, with squalane and hyaluronic acid keeping lips hydrated for up to 24 hours.

Yves Saint Laurent Lovenude Lip Blusher Soft Blurring Lip Color

4 / 9

This cream-to-powder formula glides on as a sheer, seamless wash of color—no chalkiness, no harsh edges—and stays put without creasing. The shade Bois Brûlé, shown, is an easy, everyday pick.

VIOLETTE_FR Plume Eyeshadow

5 / 9

This mousse-cream hybrid blurs and melts into skin for sun-kissed warmth that looks effortless rather than applied—a compelling reason to rethink whatever bronzer you’re currently reaching for.

Fenty Beauty Sun Stalk'r Soufflé Pressed Mousse Blurring Cream Bronzer

6 / 9

Coconut water and glycerin keep lips comfortable while the formula starts glossy, then dries down to a smudge-proof, lived-in stain. Shades like Pink Taffy and Sugar Cone make it an easy summer staple.

Kylie Cosmetics Coconut Water Lip Stain

7 / 9

This liner trades a fine point for a domed applicator that diffuses color on contact, building a hazy, natural-looking definition that looks less “drawn on” and more innately yours. Greenberg counts it among her current favorites, and it’s easy to see why.

REFY Blur Liner

8 / 9

Buildable coverage, mineral SPF 50+ and actives including niacinamide and bisabolol help treat skin while you wear it—all with the kind of soft, blurred finish that fits right into the no-makeup-makeup moment.

ciele tint & PROTECT medium coverage serum foundation with SPF 50+

9 / 9

Greenberg’s own blush-highlighter hybrid was designed to be foolproof. “You can apply it with your fingers, it blends super easily, it glows without shimmering unnaturally and you can even swipe it on your lips and lids,” she says.

Jamie Makeup The Blighlighter

Marc-Antoine Barrois lands in New York with SoHo flagship store

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After Paris and London, Marc-Antoine Barrois unveils a vast new flagship in New York’s SoHo neighborhood, bringing together the many facets of his creative world: fragrance, ready-to-wear, couture, as well as accessories and jewelry.

Located at 120 Wooster Street, the new store was conceived hand in hand with architect Antoine Bouillot;

From the outside, visitors are immediately struck by a suspended sheet of black metal, floating from the original bracket by means of two metal clothespins crafted to imitate wood.

Inside, the 300-square-meter space and its six-meter-high ceilings made it possible to think on a grand scale, without ever abandoning the faithful sources of inspiration that run like a golden thread through the various spaces imagined by the designer. Among them is a dreamlike vision of nature, expressed both through figures that are more or less figurative and through rich textural effects.

The first section of the flagship is devoted to the world of fragrance. The scents are displayed on sculpted wood stands rising from the waxed concrete floor ; at their center, a backlit alabaster pedestal magnifies the bottles.

The entrance into the ready-to-wear universe is made through a narrowed passage, defined by angled partitions designed to break with spatial linearity and preserve a sense of surprise.

The store features a living-room lit by a skylight and sash windows. Conceived as a welcoming and comfortable space, ready to receive guests, it is furnished with pebble-like marble and wood seats, designed in spring 2025 for Milan Design Week, and with a gigantic six-meter (19 feet) sofa that extends a further three meters beneath the stair opening, as if levitating, and is reflected in a mirror.

Contemporary art is ever-present into the store. Like a treasure hunt, each work acts as a clue, helping to illuminate the hybrid universe of Marc-Antoine Barrois. A giant ant by Jean-François Fourtou coexists with The Nuclear Power Masqueradea limestone figure by German sculptor Stefan Rinck. Photographs by Algis Griskevicius, The Fruit and Life of Mutantsalongside The Memory Waterfall by Daniel Arsham, further blur the lines, projecting the future into the past.

Throughout April, a communication campaign entrusted to advertising agency Fred & Farid preceded the store’s opening.

Designed as an anti-social media activation, the campaign subverted the conventions of digital platforms to encourage users to disconnect and rediscover IRL (In Real Life) experiences as the ultimate form of luxury. Moving away from the traditional codes of a retail launch, Fred & Farid developed a series of minimalist messages disseminated through social media content and targeted guerrilla marketing activations across New York City. From April 1 to 30, the campaign occupied more than 30 strategic locations throughout the SoHo neighborhood, with at least four posters displayed at each site as part of a large-scale guerrilla marketing rollout.

I Tested All Three Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream Shades. One Stays in My Pocket.

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Last Updated on May 17, 2026 by omgbart

The Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream arrived at a good moment. I have been a Sugar Lip Treatment person for years, watched the formula get tweaked at some point, felt something shift, and stopped reaching for it the way I used to. No dramatic falling out. Just less enthusiasm. This is Fresh doing something right again.

I tested all three shades. The Mango Pulp gets daily use because it sits so close to clear that most people will not register it as a product at all. Blood Orange Zest and Watermelon Rind are more visibly tinted but still firmly in satin-finish, natural-looking territory. None of the three read as deliberate makeup. That is the entire point of this product and Fresh has executed it well.

Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream tube in hand

What the Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream actually is

This is not the Sugar Lip Treatment in a different format. The formula is genuinely different, more sophisticated, more treatment-focused, and the result feels like the brand has figured out what the category needed rather than simply extending the lineup for the sake of it.

The finish is satin rather than gloss. Not only does it matter (to me, anyway) but it’s why I like it so much. A high-gloss tinted lip product reads as makeup. This does not. It reads as lips, hydrated and healthy, with a barely-there tint that looks like you are simply having a good skin day that extended to your mouth.

Fresh Melt Lip Creams on the gray counter surface

What is in it and why it works

The hero ingredients are verbena phyto-peptides and activated sugar. Fresh’s activated sugar comes from beet root and cane stock, transformed into a format the lip barrier can use directly rather than just sitting on the surface. The verbena phyto-peptides are isolated from the same verbena plant that has been the brand’s botanical signature since the original Sugar formula. Here they are doing something specific: supporting the lip barrier’s natural lipid content, which over time produces lips that look more defined and fuller without anything applied at the surface level.

Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream three shades Mango Pulp Blood Orange Watermelon Rind

The texture comes from a modern film-forming polymer — Dilinoleic Acid/Butanediol Copolymer — that gives the formula its distinctive long-wearing, non-sticky character. This is not in the original Sugar Lip Treatment. It is the reason the Melt wears differently. More like a sheer colour that settles and stays rather than a treatment you reapply every hour.

Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream three shades

Sodium Hyaluronate is present for immediate moisture. The clinical data is reasonable: 31% instant boost of moisture to the lip barrier after one application, with 94% of subjects showing a clinical increase in hydration at the 24-hour mark. Those are meaningful numbers for a product at this price point.

The packaging and application

Love the slim tube. It is pocket-sized and does not require a bag. The applicator tip is precise and does not overdispense, which sounds like a low bar until you have used a lip product that deposits twice the amount you want in a single swipe. This one gives you exactly what you intended.

Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream Mango Pulp texture

The scent and the taste question

All three shades smell true to their names. Fresh, slightly sweet, slightly herbal — the verbena character coming through in a way that is pleasant without being aggressive. More importantly, if any amount of product migrates to your mouth, there is no rancid or chemical taste. For a product that lives on your lips, that detail matters more than most brands acknowledge.

Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream three shades Mango Pulp Blood Orange Watermelon Rind swatched on back of hand

The three shades

Mango Pulp is my daily. It sits so close to clear that it functions more as a treatment than a tint. A faint warmth on the lips, nothing more. I have worn it to meetings, on planes, to dinner. Nobody has commented on it as a product.

Watermelon Rind delivers a warmer, slightly more visible tint — a sheer peachy-coral that adds colour without reading as deliberate. Still in natural-finish territory.

Fresh sugar melt lip cream tubes

Blood Orange Zest is the most pigmented of the three and still rather wearable. A sheer berry-pink that looks like healthy lip colour rather than applied product. If you are new to tinted lip products and want to start somewhere that will not make you feel self-conscious, this is the shade I would recommend. The contrast with most skin tones reads as vitality rather than cosmetics.

Is it worth $25?

Yes. The formula is more sophisticated than the price suggests, the packaging is very well-designed, and the wear is long enough that you are not reapplying constantly. For anyone who stepped away from the Sugar Lip Treatment after the reformulation, this is worth revisiting. For anyone who has never tried Fresh lip products, this is a better entry point than the original.

Where to buy them

Available at ulta.com, sephora.com, SpaceNK.com, and fresh.com.


Frequently asked questions


What shades does the Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream come in?

Three shades: Mango Pulp, which is borderline clear with a faint warmth; Watermelon Rind, a sheer berry-pink; and Blood Orange Zest, the darkest and most pigmented of the three. All three have a satin rather than gloss finish.

How does the Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream compare to the original Sugar Lip Treatment?

The formula is meaningfully different. The Sugar Melt Lip Cream uses verbena phyto-peptides and a film-forming polymer that the original does not have. The finish is satin rather than glossy balm. The wear is longer and reapplication is less frequent. It is a progression rather than a variation.

Is the Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream suitable for men?

Yes. The satin finish and sheer tints read as healthy lips rather than applied colour. Mango Pulp in particular sits so close to clear that it functions as a treatment with a barely-there warmth. Nothing about wearing it reads as makeup.

Does the Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream taste or smell like anything?

The scent is pleasant — fresh, slightly sweet, and herbal from the verbena extract. The taste is clean. No aftertaste if the product migrates to the mouth, which is a non-trivial consideration for a lip product.

How long does the Fresh Sugar Melt Lip Cream last on the lips?

Longer than a standard balm. The film-forming polymer gives it genuine wear rather than the slip-and-reapply cycle of most lip treatments. Clinical data shows 24-hour hydration after one application, though the visible tint will fade before that.

What is the difference between the three shades?

Mango Pulp is essentially clear with a faint warmth — the most wearable for everyday use and the least noticeable as a product. Watermelon Rind is a sheer berry-pink with more visibility. Blood Orange Zest is the boldest of the three, the most pigmented, and still reads as natural rather than deliberate on most skin tones.


This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission—at no cost to you. It helps keep my mist habit funded and this blog running. Thank you for reading.


Janet Jackson 60th Birthday: The Pop Legend Celebrates Her Day

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

Can we please talk about the fact that our absolute favorite blueprint for pop perfection just hit a major milestone? It feels like an actual crime that Miss Janet Jackson is entering a brand new decade looking just as radiant, smooth, and timeless as she did back in her Rhythm Nation days. This weekend, the living legend gathered her absolute closest inner circle of family and friends to ring in the big number, and the photos floating around social media have the entire group chat weeping at how stunning she looks. She has given us decades of choreography, unmatched style, and purely iconic music, so seeing her get all her flowers in a room filled with nothing but pure love is exactly what the culture needed to see.

The private gathering was the absolute definition of elegant yet deeply personal, showing us that when you are royalty, you do not need to shout to make a statement. Members of the legendary Jackson family were right by her side, alongside longtime industry friends who have been riding with her through every single iconic era of her career. During the actual Janet Jackson 60th Birthday festivities, the room was reportedly filled with constant laughter, impromptu dancing, and a gorgeous multi tiered cake that looked almost as spectacular as the birthday girl herself. It was a beautiful reminder of the power of sisterhood, brotherhood, and keeping your circle tight and filled with people who genuinely protect your peace.

Honestly, looking at her celebrate just makes me want to immediately throw away all my stress and upgrade my skincare routine because whatever she is doing is working wonders. She continues to teach us all how to age with grace, boundary-setting power, and that signature soft-spoken confidence that has kept her at the top of our mood boards for forty plus years. We are all sending the absolute biggest congratulations to the queen as she steps into this beautiful new chapter of life, fulfillment, and happiness. Go ahead and put her greatest hits on full blast today because celebrating this living icon is mandatory!

The 15 Best Hair Bonding Treatments for Dry, Damaged Tresses

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The 15 Best Hair Bonding Treatments for Dry, Damaged Tresses

For hair that’s truly damaged, bond-building treatments — the masks and formulas that rebuild the hair’s internal bonds — are often the most effective way to restore strength, moisture, and manageability. We love a good blowout or fresh color to elevate our look instantly, but those services can leave hair dry, brittle, and lackluster — and can even cause breakage that contributes to hair loss. Add ordinary exposure to the elements, and it’s no wonder our tresses often need extra TLC. While a trim or full-on chop is still the best remedy for severely damaged locks, hair bonding treatments can be a potent intermediary step to help keep hair looking and feeling its healthiest.

“Hair bonding treatments are great for double process clients like blondes, those who use chemical styling treatments such as perms, or who have high heat damage from over-styling,” celebrity hairstylist Adam Maclay explains. “These formulas work to protect and restore the hydrogen, salt, and disulfide bonds of the hair to strengthen it from the inside out. It’s like filling in the potholes on the street; these products help to smooth split ends, restore moisture and shine, and make the hair more manageable.”

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The 30 Best Beauty Tips Allure Editors Have Ever Gotten

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Liana Schaffner, Associate Editor (2005–2010)

“During a photoshoot waaay back in 2010, a makeup artist suggested mascara wasn’t about enhancing your lashes, but enhancing your eye shape. It was a minor revelation. I stopped gobbing the stuff on and just started applying it to my outer lashes for an elongated, wing-y effect. I’ve never looked back.”

Sasha Charnin Morrison, Fashion Director (1999–2006)

“I think I landed my job at Allure because during my interview with Linda Wells, she commented on how spot-on my eyeliner was and asked how my hand was so steady. My tip: no caffeine until after liner application!”

How to achieve an effortlessly polished makeup look

Meirav Devash, Articles Editor (2004–2008)

“After putting on lipstick, place your (clean) finger in your mouth and pull it out. Do you look like you’re shooting NSFW content at the dinner table? Maybe, but it beats lipstick on your teeth.”

Sophia Panych, Deputy Digital Beauty Director (2010–2019); Content Director (Present)

Sophie Panych

“If you wear foundation or concealer and you want to apply powder-based bronzer or blush on top, make sure to dust on a thin layer of setting powder first. This keeps the creamy base products from eating away at your blush or bronzer, ensuring it will last longer. Makeup artist Tom Pecheux gave me this tip backstage at fashion week, and I’ve used it in my own routine every day since.”

Jessica Cruel, Editor in Chief (2021–Present)

Jessica Cruel

“For a dewy glow that doesn’t disappear, I like to apply a face oil to the high points of my face. Then, I slather on a cream highlighter and apply my foundation, concealer, blush, and contour. Finally, I add a layer of highlighter powder on top.”

ATL Movie 20 Year Reunion: The Cast Celebrates Two Decades of a Classic

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Can you actually believe it has been two decades since we first met Rashad, New New, and the whole crew? Our hearts were completely full this weekend seeing the cast of our favorite coming of age classic link back up to celebrate such a massive milestone. It feels like just yesterday we were all trying to master the “A-Town Stomp” and dreaming of a Sunday night at the skating rink. Seeing everyone back together again reminds us why this film holds such a special place in our culture; it wasn’t just a movie, it was a whole vibe that captured the heart of the city and the spirit of growing up.

Still Repping the A

The energy at the celebration was unmatched as T.I., Lauren London, and the rest of the gang shared laughs and looked like they hadn’t aged a single day. It is so rare to see a cast stay this connected over the years, but you could tell the bond they formed on set was the real deal. During the ATL Movie 20 Year Reunion festivities, the stories being told brought back all those nostalgic feelings of high school summers and the importance of having your “day ones” by your side through it all. It was a beautiful reminder that no matter how far we go in life, we never forget where we came from or the people who were there at the start.

A Legacy That Keeps Rolling

Watching the clips and photos from the night had the entire timeline in a frenzy because the impact of this film is still so strong today. From the iconic fashion to that legendary soundtrack, it set a standard for how our stories should be told with style and authenticity. We are all secretly (or not so secretly) still hoping for a sequel that shows us where the characters are now, but until then, we are just going to keep this classic on repeat. Congratulations to the entire cast and crew for giving us a masterpiece that still feels as fresh and relevant as the day it dropped!

Supergoop Lawsuits – Organic Bunny

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Supergoop SPF is everywhere, Sephora, Ulta, your favorite influencer’s morning routine… They have built a reputation as the sunscreen that actually looks and feels good, and for a long time, so many of you trusted that. But over the past year, two separate legal actions have put that trust in serious question, and as always, I think people deserve to know the full story to think twice before shopping for your next SPF! Have you heard about these lawsuits!? If not, let’s recap what’s been going on.

The 100% Mineral Lawsuit

In December 2025, a class action lawsuit was filed against Supergoop in California federal court. The plaintiff alleges that Supergoop has been falsely marketing several products as 100% Mineral when the formulas actually contain synthetic and chemically processed ingredients. The products named include their Resetting 100% Mineral SPF 25, Bright-Eyed 100% Mineral Eye Cream SPF 40, Zinc Screen 100% Mineral Lotion, and Mineral Unseen Sunscreen.

The simple version: when you see 100% Mineral on a label, you assume the whole formula is mineral-based, right!? Not just the active sunscreen ingredient, but everything inside. That is exactly what the lawsuit argues most people would reasonably believe and I would have to agree. And according to the complaint, that is not what is actually in the bottle.

This matters because people choosing mineral sunscreen are making an intentional decision. They are trying to avoid the synthetic chemical filters that have raised real health concerns and, even worse, they are paying more for what they believe is a cleaner product all while being potentially mislead!

The Reef-Safe Settlement They Already Paid

This is not the first time Supergoop has faced legal consequences for misleading marketing. In June 2025, Santa Clara County prosecutors announced that Supergoop agreed to a $350,000 civil settlement over claims they were marketing chemical sunscreens as reef-safe or reef-friendly, when those products contained UV filters known to be harmful to coral reefs.

They were calling chemical sunscreens “reef-safe”. They settled and that case is closed but now there is a second lawsuit about a different misleading claim on a different set of products. That is a pattern worth paying attention to and a reminder on why so many brands and their claims cannot be trusted blindly.

What Is Actually in Their Chemical Sunscreens

Supergoop does avoid some of the worst offenders like oxybenzone and parabens, and that is worth acknowledging but their product formulas still contain ingredients that have raised serious flags in published research. Check out just a few of their worst offenders!

AVOBENZONE (3%) — FDA studies show avobenzone is absorbed through the skin into the bloodstream at levels above the threshold the FDA considers safe, even after a single application. It also degrades quickly in sunlight, meaning it breaks down while you’re actually wearing it and needs chemical stabilizers to hold it together.

OCTOCRYLENE (10%) — This one is at 10%, a high concentration. Octocrylene absorbs through the skin at levels about 14 times the FDA’s cutoff for systemic exposure. It also breaks down in the body into benzophenone, which researchers have flagged as a potential carcinogen and hormone disruptor.

OCTISALATE (5%) — Octisalate absorbs through the skin at levels 10 times the FDA’s cutoff for systemic exposure. The FDA stated in 2019 that more research must be conducted before it can be classified as safe and effective. EPA data also suggests it may weakly interact with the estrogen receptor.

POLYMETHYLSILSESQUIOXANE — A silicone powder that sits on top of your skin forming a coating. It doesn’t treat skin, it just creates a smooth feel. Silicones like this can trap bacteria underneath, clog pores over time, and block absorption of any beneficial ingredients.

CHLORPHENESIN — A synthetic preservative. EWG flags it with moderate use restrictions and notes it cannot be used in EWG Verified products at all. It has been associated with allergic dermatitis and immunosuppressive qualities, and is restricted in Japan.

BISMUTH OXYCHLORIDE — A synthetic mineral used to create a luminous finish. Known to cause skin irritation, clogged pores, and itching, especially with repeated use. Many people with sensitive or acne-prone skin react badly to it.

These are not fear mongering or exaggerated claims either, they come from peer-reviewed journals, EWG assessments, and FDA-funded research. These ingredients absorb into the bloodstream and when you use them every day, that adds up yet most people never find this info out!

The Bottom Line

Supergoop is not the worst brand out there but they are a clear example of a company that has leaned heavily into clean beauty language without fully delivering on it so consumers should be aware. They also use many ingredients I personally would never use, including chemical SPF and silicones. Two legal actions in one year, one of which they already settled for $350,000, tells you something about how carefully their claims hold up under scrutiny.

The good news is, you do not have to choose between sun protection and clean ingredients. Truly mineral sunscreens that use zinc oxide as the only active filter, with a clean supporting formula, exist and they work! The key is knowing what to look for and which brands have actually earned the label they put on the front of the bottle.

That is what I am here for 🙂

Want Some Cleaner Swaps?

I have tested and vetted the clean SPF options I actually trust and use. You can find them all linked here. Not sure which items are best for you!? Book a FREE Consult with our Holistic Esthetician anytime!

A Zillennial Ode to the 2010s Smoky Eye

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“Whenever you’d open Vogue, People, or Allureit would always be Mila Kunis with that sparkly-ish smoky eye, or Nina Dobrev, Vanessa Hudgens. Those were the smoky eyes [I remember],” says Lila Childs, a New York City-based makeup artist and podcast host who’s been posting beauty tutorials online since 2012. “It wasn’t even [considered] loud makeup. It weirdly looked like it was part of the face. The tones matched [the client’s] eye color and skin tone, making the eye appear lower contrast and softer—even though they were wearing lashes and a full Naked palette on their eyes.”

Tom Munro

My morning routine now consists of rolling over, working from my bed until noon, and getting ready for the day by applying skin-care products to my face. Even on nights out, my eyes remained relatively naked, save for mascara. It seems like the rest of the world traded their once, tried-and-true palettes for cream blushes and clear brow gel (unless they’d gotten really into Euphoria).

Childs believes this new era stemmed from the age gap between trendsetter and consumer. As the celebrities and vloggers Gen Z and Zillennials took inspiration from matured, their looks became subtler. She adds that brands that featured more of a luminous, refined glam—like Charlotte Tilbury and Hourglass—rose in prominence during this period. “It was a little bit more Victoria’s Secret bombshell—a bit more natural. And then Glossier was so minimal. There were just beauty brands that were coming out with this whole concept of wearing a more natural face.”

“Clean” beauty looks became the standard (perhaps due to trend cycles, exhaustion from a world shut down, a growing emphasis on wellness culture, or all of the above). A TikTok search shows an abundance of glowy no-makeup makeup looks, centered around brushed-up brows, tinted cheeks, and blurred lips. Pop stars like Sabrina Carpenter and Haily Bieber further popularized this angelic, coquetteish aesthetic, which is arguably the antithesis of the sultry, dark vibe the smoky eye embodies. With this shift, lids are essentially neglected.

If you opened any social media app during the first couple of weeks of this year, you were met with every Zillennial It-Girl posting that “2016 is the new 2026.” King Kylie made her return, along with the Snapchat dog filter. All of this reminiscing revealed that what most people missed about this time period (along with blissfully ignorant hopecore) was the playful experimentation. “Doing my makeup like it’s 2016” quickly took off as a trend, with beauty creators posting tutorials set to Roses by the Chainsmokers, placing pieces of tape along their cheekbones to create the sharpest cat eye and minimize shadow fallout.

I’m a young gay man; she’s a 76-year-old trans woman. Our friendship changed my life

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I think what’s been so beautiful to recognise is that while I have spent the majority of my life hiding from the truest version of myself, Dee has been running towards hers with open arms.

The fact that our queer experiences are vastly different has taught me that there are many ways to live a queer life, and all of them are valid. While firmly living her truth, Dee has done so quietly. She doesn’t share her experience with many that she meets; she’s not an outward activist, but instead has enjoyed living in peace. As a result of years of keeping my queerness in the shadows, I am making up for lost time and tend to shout it from rooftops, regularly writing queer-related media and offloading to anyone who will listen. Both of our experiences are valid. We’re both proudly queer, but not every queer person has an obligation to be a spokesperson, and it’s not something that should be expected, regardless of your age.

Dee and Ryan

Courtesy of Ryan Cahill

Privacy isn’t secrecy, and living quietly isn’t hiding. That said, she is choosing to share her story now, in her winter years, which she feels has come from a place of necessity. Last year, the UK Supreme Court ruled that “sex” and “woman” in the Equality Act 2010 strictly refer to biological sex. Put simply, this means that, according to the law, Dee would be barred from using a woman’s public bathroom. For comparison, never in Dee’s lifetime has there been a blanket law suggesting that trans+ individuals can’t use single-sex bathrooms. “Now feels like the right time to share my story because being trans feels more dangerous than ever.” She tells me. “I hope that by being open about my life, I can show that trans people deserve a life full of love and adventure, even amid the politicising of our bodies.”