“Pathological liar” has become a convenient insult to anyone we love to hate, from corrupt politicians to reality-show “villains.” The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is the latest example, where castmates and viewers alike are lobbing the term at Jen Affleck over earlier claims about her husband’s alleged gambling and her supposed relation to actor Ben Affleck. But what actually qualifies a person’s dishonesty as “pathological”?

Despite the popular image of someone deceitful, conniving, and cartoonishly evil, the label only applies to a very small subset of people in reality—and it comes with very specific qualifications. “It’s a behavioral pattern, not a standalone illness recognized in the DSM-5,” Christina Ni, MD, a Los Angeles–based psychiatrist and the National Interventional Psychiatry Medical Director at Mindpath Health, tells SELF. “And it isn’t simply about deception: The behavior may look manipulative on the surface, but underneath, it usually reflects deeper psychological distress and vulnerability.”

In other words, a true pathological liar isn’t necessarily someone trying to ruin your life or win every fight—which is why you should watch out for these telltale signs instead.

1. Their lies are compulsive and habitual.

Whether it’s a small white lie or a more intentional attempt at dodging accountability, everyone tells a fib now and then. But pathological lying is a near-consistent habit, Drew Curtis, PhD, associate professor of psychology at The University of Texas at Tyler and author of Big Liars: What Psychological Science Tells Us About Lying and How You Can Avoid Being Duped, tells SELF.

“We’re looking at about nine to 10 lies a day, on average,” says Dr. Curtis, who also leads research on this topic through the Clinical Science and Deception Lab. Essentially, it’s less of a deliberate choice and more of a default, reflexive response.

2. They lie frequently, across situations and topics.

No one becomes a pathological liar in a single argument or one-off incident—despite what Demi Engemann might suggest about Affleck on the latest season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. As Dr. Curtis explains, this type of lying is a broader, chronic pattern spanning nearly every relationship, situation, and topic. That means they don’t just bend the truth with a particular frenemy or embellish their credentials to impress coworkers—a pathological liar will compulsively fib around family, colleagues, at social events, and in casual interactions with strangers alike.