Many women also find it difficult to communicate their sexual needs with a partner, Graham says. With masturbation, “You can explore your own likes and dislikes and not worry what your partner thinks.”
How to embrace self-pleasure
While self-pleasure can benefit women during menopause, don’t feel like you have to do it if you’re not into it, Dr. Minkin says. But if you are interested and don’t masturbate regularly or haven’t in a while, here are some tips.
Address dryness and other GSM symptoms.
Dryness, itching, and changes to your vulva or vagina can make any sexual activity uncomfortable, Dr. Minkin says. “Trying to get the vagina moist and comfortable to think about some activity down there is a good idea, whether it’s going to be self-pleasure or partnered activities.”
One option is prescription vaginal estrogen cream, which can help relieve dryness, irritation, and pain during sex, she says. Over-the-counter vaginal moisturizers, including products with hyaluronic acid, and water- or silicone-based lubricants, are other options—however, these items won’t address the root of dryness, which is declining estrogen.
Try sex gadgets.
Whether it’s romance novels, pornography, fantasizing, or something else, Dr. Minkin suggests seeking out stimulating material to help you get in the mood—or try sex gadgets, like vibrators or dildos. She recommends MedAmour, a website that curates products with input from doctors and other sexual health experts.
“You might get some ideas for yourself, and you might get some gadgets that are fun for you,” Dr. Minkin says.
Go at your own pace.
Approach self-pleasure with mindfulness and curiosity, without self-judgment, Dr. Kelley says. “Look at it as more exploration, empowerment, getting to know your body, and exploring what feels good.”
Start slowly and don’t make orgasming your goal, Dr. Sophocles says. She recommends beginning with gentle “G-rated touching,” including your neck, inner arms, or breasts, which will heighten the pleasure centers of your brain. Progress to touching your inner things and around your genitals, and then finally, “you’re ready to touch the clitoris and the labia.”
